The fear of sadness

Not too long ago I talked with a friend of mine about feelings and she showed me a quote she had one her phone “happiness is a choice, not a result. Nothing will make you happy until you choose to be happy.”
At first, I thought that it was a good quote, it is true that you first need to allow yourself to be happy until you can be happy, but the more I thought about it the more I disagreed with it and I actually got a bit frustrated with it.
Of course, you need to allow yourself to be happy and sometimes it is better to see the good things in a bad situation, but this quote just made it seem like being sad is something bad and you should be happy even when you are not.

Sometimes I wake up and I feel like shit, sometimes I go to sleep feeling shit. I most centrally don’t like feeling that way, but sometimes I do and that is not always a bad thing and certainly not something to feel bad about.
Sometimes you can’t keep it all in and you can’t keep it all to yourself. Sadness is a powerful emotion and because of that also despised, I think it is more despised than it should me.

People are scared of feeling sad and when they feel sad they try to hide it. People are very scared to show any emotion other than positive ones. We get thought from a very young age that the way you feel is something you can control and you should control and if you can’t you are weak. We got taught that bothering people with feelings is selfish and it is better to figure it out by yourself. These are foolish claims, but a lot of people believe them including me.
Some time ago I struggled with depression, I couldn’t get my mind in the right place and I worried about everything. I was too scared to ask for help from anyone, even dough I needed it. I felt like it was something I had to figure it out for myself and that asking for help would be selfish and that people would find it selfish. At some point, I broke and help was kind of forced on me, but the peculiar thing was that people didn’t really minded. They didn’t think that I was weak and they didn’t think that I was bothering them; they just wanted to help me and they wanted me to get the right help.

I went tot shrink she thought me that emotion can’t always be controlled and that is not necessarily a bad think. Sometimes emotion needs to be heard and sometimes it is not best to hide them.
The movie Inside out from Pixar talks about this really well. If you haven’t​ seen it please go and see it. The movie is about a child coping with depression and does that it really well. This is a children’s movie that tells children that being sad is not a bad thing. If we can tell it, children, then why is it so hard to tell it to our selfs.

Sadness can’t be controlled as much as maybe other emotion can be. Often sadness can creep up to you, sometimes shit happens that you can’t control, but sadness​ demands to be heard as much as the other emotions. Sadness is not something that can be hidden, sadness is something to come to terms with. Because of as much as we want to get rid of it, sadness is a part of life and it can make Al the difference how you deal with it.


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